Courage and Regrets

I was sitting in a café of a bookshop enjoying the quietness of a late afternoon and reading a newspaper. After a while, I realized someone was standing next to my elbow. Without a word she placed a laminated typewritten letter across my table. Apparently she was deaf and dumb. I reacted spontaneously, shaking my head making a No gesture without looking up. She left (of course without a word).

In less than 10 minutes she returned to my table (I don’t know whether she remembered or not that she had shown me her card before) and put in front of me the same piece of laminated letter. Again, I shook my head - No. She left. This time I looked up following her with my eyes as she made her way out of the café. I watched her for a while. She was a young girl of about 18 years of age. As she was walking away, I noticed she was nonchalant about her lack of success. She was swinging both her arms like a small playful girl going out of a candy shop. She disappeared from my sight.

After I had finished my drink, I walked to the bookshelves. I bought some books and went back to the same place I was sitting. As I was browsing through the books which I had bought, I didn’t realize someone was in front of me. I looked up and saw the same girl with her laminated typed written letter in front of me! Again with the same response, I shook my head gesturing NO. As quickly as she appeared, she disappeared among the shoppers.

As she went off, I felt bad about my attitude. I felt lousy. I could have helped her or at least read what’s on that letter. But I had allowed my irritation at being disturbed from my peaceful reverie to get the better of me.. I stood up and turned around but she was no longer in sight.

I waited for a while thinking that she will come back and perhaps I could see where I can help her. She didn’t. I waited a little longer, still she did not appear.

What haunted me a little was her clear innocent face. She was asking for help and I regretted that I had not responded. All of a sudden, it dawned on my awareness that I could have been that girl, asking for help and being ignored. How often has that happened in my life and how bad I had felt each time! And now, I had it in my power to make someone else’s day by a simple gesture that would have cost me nothing significant, yet I let it slip away. It would probably have made my day too! I also recall that a lot of people had made my day in the past – I truly regret that I did not do the same for that girl.

Very often so many opportunities are lost in our life just because we are so engrossed in our own world. We tend to forget that other people’s world is just as important to them, and inevitably we are intertwined as our paths cross. We tend to have this attitude of “what’s in for me”. ‘Nothing for me – Buzz off! I have made a decision to change that around so the first question I ask people I meet will be, “How can I help?”